Breaking Glass Castles

Audrey Raphaels, Co President

I desired the affection you were unable to supply,

I searched for the acceptance you couldn’t give,

I pleaded for even the insignificant glances across the room,

And the minuscule moments of harmony,

Yet you seemed so distant, so unaware.

 

You looked at me through a glass wall,

Afraid to touch it, because it might break.

While I slammed into it with all my might,

You stared at me with disapproval and shame,

As if breaking this wall between us would shatter a glass castle.  

 

To look through it but not touch it,
To talk through it but never without,

To be so close, with such a thin glass wall between us.

A glass wall that you were determined to thicken,

And I was determined to knock down.  

 

But you would put your hand up against the cold glass,

And ask me to place mine across yours.

Although blurred with distant reflections, you looked me in the eyes.

My breath slowed and my heartbeat calmed, and the wall slowly faded,

For just a second,

You promised tranquility, you promised happiness,

You promised the world in a glass castle.

Then built it.

 

But then locked me at the top,

and you walked down the stairs,

And left, leaving with me with a small shard of glass

Right in my heart, right where you promised to be.  

Promises as empty as glass.