looping

Sophie Kramer

my bed has molded perfectly to the shape of my spine

it seems to be the only thing in life that i can consistently call mine

stare at the bare ceiling until your eyes run dry

 

watch the nothingness and let time pass you by

waking up everyday simply to sit “content”

it seems like the universe is simply hellbent

 

on taking anything good and enjoyable away

discord notifications as the only reminder that it’s a new day

falling back into another formerly quit habit

isolate in my room, rather than let my family simply have at it

 

the panel of led lights that line my wall

are blinding, almost bright enough for me to forget it all

days where the blue light didn’t consume me

days where i didn’t have to wait until college to feel free

 

but for now i’m stuck in this circle that never ends

as academia’s 13th year leads me down twist and turns and mental dead-ends

but at least i have this unknown future to pull me down the line

because the anger and exhilaration reminds me of still being alive.