I was in fourth grade when I watched A Dog’s Purpose for the first time. My dad and I went in with high hopes, I mean how could you go wrong with a movie about a dog. Dad’s expectations were soon diminished. “Why would they make a movie about a dog dying over and over again. It’s so stupid.”
“Yeah, really stupid. What a bad movie.” In fourth grade, no kid has opinions. They take from what their parents say, or what their friends say but they dont have beliefs. So I had no beliefs. I was a block of clay waiting to be molded to fit whatever my parents and friends expectations were.
But I remember thinking, I dont think it’s bad. Sure it was sad, my dad cried and I cried, but it had a meaning. I couldn’t tell you what that meaning is, being that it’s been seven years since I’ve watched it, but I remember it being profound for my fourth grade mind. Maybe it was something about the fragility of life or human connection but something struck a chord.
That moment had me thinking. Why do so many people think emotions are bad? We always think of the extremes to an emotion. You’re either really happy or really sad and when you’re really sad that is really bad. But what if really sad doesnt have to be bad, what if it’s just another part of life.
Five years later, in freshman year, I watched my first rated R movie, Coming to America. It was great, I felt liberated, I felt mature, I felt humored. But was that the greatest movie I’ve ever seen? No.
Dad glanced over at me throughout the entire movie, looking for a reaction. Of course there were laughs but I wasn’t giving him the reaction he thought was warranted for this movie.
“How did it feel to watch your first ever rated R movie? Did you like it?”
“Yeah, It was good.” I said with disconnect.
“You didn’t like it?”
“It was good, it really was. I mean you heard me laugh right?”
“Yeah you just dont seem overly enthusiastic about it. You should be jumping with joy! You just watched your first rated R movie. You’re an adult now.”
“Yeah.” Of course I wasn’t upset. Who would be upset about their first rated R movie not being all that they dreamed of? I wouldn’t. It just didnt have me super excited, which is fine. I just wanted the next movie I watched to be better. “It was good it just wasn’t exactly my favorite. Doesn’t mean I dont like it.”
“Ah, I understand.”
I really did like it, it was a funny enough movie but what makes a good movie isn’t the ability to make you laugh or to make you cry. A good movie makes a connection between the viewer and the characters. Coming to America just didn’t do that for me.
A few days later my dad approached me when I was in my room doing homework. Three knocks on the door before he opened. I turned around to face him and he gave me a big smile.
“I have the perfect movie for you to watch.” I smiled back at him.
“What movie?”
“Old school, it’s hilarious. You need to watch it, one of the best comedy movies of all time.”
“Okay I’ll watch it later.”
“I promise you’ll like this one better. That’s a promise I’m willing to bet on.” I did. It was way funnier than Coming to America. This one had me laughing out loud but in the present I can’t even remember what it was about, the plot completely went over my head. I had the same issue that it did not build any emotional connections and it did not have any message.
I texted my dad that the movie was good and he immediately raced up to my room.
“What’d you think, did you love it.”
“It was really funny Dad, good suggestion.”
“Did you like it better than Coming to America?”
“Yup”
“I told you I would bet on it.” I giggled a little before he left to go cook dinner.
I was left alone in my room, sitting and thinking. It definitely was a good movie, don’t get me wrong, but I still had the same feeling I got about Coming to America. It wasn’t what I was looking for.
I then made it my mission to find the genre of movie that best suited me.
For weeks I watched countless movies, Grown Ups, which was great, Made of Honor, which I loved, Dumb and Dumber, which was a very funny movie, and many many more. None of those movies hit the way I wanted them to.
Then, one fateful day, I watched Me Before You. It was about a man who was paralyzed in an accident and had to live in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, named Will. He faced severe medical challenges and had to have a helper with him at all times. He was very angry at life and he told his parents that he wanted to die, so he scheduled himself to be put down. HIs parents hired a girl to be his live-in helper named Louisa Clark. They formed a strong bond and started a relationship with each other. By the end of the movie, the paralyzed man still wanted to die. One scene that was very interesting to me was when Will told Louisa that he was still going to go through with death because he couldn’t live in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. Of course there was crying and yelling and the movie did end with him dying.
That was one of the first times I’ve really cried during a movie, and honestly it felt really nice. It felt good to be so connected to a character you physically feel their hurt and it pains you. That movie was ten times better than Old School and Coming to America combined. That was when I realized that I liked sad movies.
I tried introducing sad movies to my dad because I realized he had never really immersed himself in sad culture.
He hated it.
After I showed him Me Before You he said, “That was terrible.”
“What! I love that movie.”
“He dies. I don’t want to watch a movie with a sad ending.”
“You really didn’t like it?”
“I really didn’t like it.” I shook my head in understanding.
Everybody is allowed their own beliefs and opinions. My dad really likes happy movies, I really like sad movies. We both love and appreciate the others opinions even though we dont see eye to eye.
We’ll have to agree to disagree though. Sad doesn’t mean bad.